Scholarly?

Wow! This semester has been NUTS!!!! Which explains my complete lack of posting anything in the last two months. Lucky for me the semester is over and I can be mellow for a bit. Unfortunately school really cuts into my sitting around time, funny how that works.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am, and what it is I’m doing with life. Thus far I have come to one conclusion: I want to be a scholar. I know that saying that can make me sound really arrogant, so let me explain. I don’t want to be a scholar in the sense that many people think of a scholar (if that makes any sense). Rather I want to spend a lot of time reading, writing, and chewing on tough bits of doctrine for the whole of my life. I want to mine the depths of Scripture. I want to be so immersed in my Bible that the meta-narrative of Scripture is constantly be rolled over in my mind. I want to be so immersed in my Bible that I ponder the implications of one verse for weeks and weeks until I finally get it. Then I want to take all the knowledge that God has poured into my head and teach it with clarity, poignance, and passion. I want all the Theology that I have learned to well up inside of me and set fire to my soul, I want my heart to burn with love for Christ and His Church. I want to be able to look around me and see shadows of Christ and the Gospel in every nook and cranny of life; I don’t want a moment to go by that isn’t marked with the sweet fragrance of Christ’s unending grace. 

That is what I mean when I say that I want to be a scholar. It isn’t that I want the degrees, or that I want the recognition, although the selfish pride in me sure does, I just want to understand the Gospel. I want the power of the the Gospel to root out the selfishness in me. I want the Holy Spirit to enlighten my heart so that I can understand the Scriptures with greater depth. In short: I want to love God and know His word. That is the cry of my heart. Strive together with me-that we might all love Christ more and know His Word better. 

 

Brent

 

~ by Brent on May 11, 2008.